A special report from feline correspondent Merlot (aka Merls, Merly Moo, Merly Woo Woo) on her continuing observation of primitive members of the unaware and soon-to-be conquered human species.
Date: Today
Time: 7.20am
Location: Bathroom
Lifted out of the bath where I’d been happily sleeping by the big hairy human male codenamed Ian. Sat on toilet seat whilst he started the shower running. He then proceeded to spend the next 10 minutes washing all over his body with various liquids that frothed alarmingly before being washed off.
Why do humans spend so much time and effort in cleaning themselves? Some spend a fortune in liquids, sprays and powders that fill the air alarmingly.
We secret dominators of the earth have cleanliness down to a fine art. Scratch behind the ears using back feet, and stick the tongue up the arse to remove the claggy bits.
