Oh for a quiet Sunday morning coffee

Posted: 24 February 2013 in life
Tags: , ,

CostaOn a Sunday morning I take myself off to the local Costa for a few hours to have a relaxing coffee (or two), a read of The Observer and maybe some tapping away on the MacBook. I’ve been doing this for a couple of years now and had become quite settled in my ways. I like a familiar environment and that’s what this Costa had become…until recently. A few weeks ago the furniture got rearranged. This threw me tremendously after becoming so used to picking out my regular table and settling myself down.

More seriously the noise level generated by the children that visit this Costa has risen to levels near matching the supersonic wake of Concorde in its heyday. When the decibels generated by the little fuckers can cut through Led Zeppelin’s Kashmir playing loudly at near maximum volume via iTunes and earphones then the time has come to consider exploring the potential of a new watering hole for a Sunday morning coffee. Parents visiting this particular coffee shop also seem incapable of controlling their offspring – or parking their increasingly grandiose perambulators (seriously expecting to see one with ejector seat and machine guns before long) in a fashion that does make one think they have been commissioned to assassinate you through trip hazards.

Though it has to be said that the screaming children of doom phenomenon isn’t solely confined to this particular branch of Costa, nearly all the Costas I’ve visited seem determined to tear my brain asunder with child-induced sonic waves. Yet, I don’t encounter this problem in any of the Starbucks (shut up rolling your eyes and muttering about tax dodgers) that I frequent. Perhaps it’s because several of those I’ve been to have stairs and that buggers the ascent of children in the way that the uninformed believe Daleks get knackered by steps. Let’s hope the manufacturers of prams never think to include hover technology.

So, serious consideration is being given to relocation to a Starbucks for Sunday coffee, though it needs to have cute lady staff as the Costa has that going for it.

  1. Ian Sadler says:

    you just know with my word association mind that I’m going to end up calling it Pillocks.

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