Once upon a time writing flowed easily from the brain and onto this blog. The Musings on Bond at 50 series, the Doctor Who and Sherlock reviews. Scribbled my notes in my notepad, collate them and craft hundreds and thousands of words around them. People liked my “musings”. My Musings got my noticed by HI! Magazine (now regenerated into The Geek Agenda) and I was invited to ramble on about Doctor Who and other geeky issues on their website.
Now it’s all a bit of a mess…
For the last few months it’s become increasingly difficult to craft the thoughts into appealing, informative and knowledgeable articles. I’ve just about gotten away with it but it’s become more and more difficult. The moment of realisation that I’m having serious trouble came during this last week when I tried to write about The Empty Hearse, the first episode of Sherlock‘s third series. I had notes and thoughts. I started writing. It looked ok. I compared the nascent work to the previous reviews of Sherlock that I’d written. The few hundred words that I’d crafted about The Empty Hearse were complete shit. Disorganised tirade of rubbish. Directionless nonsense infected with poor grammar. Deleted for all eternity. I want to write about the return of Sherlock Holmes and Dr John Watson in their three new adventures but it’s not going to happen for a while. Hopefully there will be disappointment that my views won’t be heard.
(For the record The Empty Hearse is basically Sherlock Holmes meets V For Vendetta with a hint of the London Underground scenes from Skyfall. And it cheated the audience by not revealing a definitive explanation for Sherlock’s survival).
The drop in quality has coincided with being diagnosed with bipolar disorder II and the prescribing of medication for the illness. The quetiapine leaves me excessively fatigued at times and all too often my creative process is completely fogged. Part of me really wants to dump the medication and get the writing mojo back. But I have a medical condition that requires treatment and I’d be a complete idiot to ignore the advice of my psychiatrist. All the same the temptation of getting creative juices flowing fully once again is hugely tempting.
At present I’ve also got musings on An Adventure in Space and Time and The Time of the Doctor (“brilliantly nostalgic” and “incoherently shit” respectively) to get done. I managed to do reviews of those for The Geek Agenda so hopefully I can get something comprehensible done in the near future by building and adapting. There’s load of information and knowledge trapped in my little grey cells. Ask me for data and I’d be able to pour it out. I just can’t be creative with it.
I’m not reading enough at present (hardly anything in fact) so perhaps a key element in getting the brain flowing effectively is to get the creativity of others inside my head. There’s Neil Gaiman’s complete Sandman (10 weighty “re-mastered” volumes in a shiny slipcase) awaiting my attention. There’s also several instalments of Game of Thrones and The Hunger Games trilogy demanding my attention.
I love writing. Writing is a release I need.